Why We Chose to Homeschool
To be completely honest, prior to making the decision to homeschool this school year, I had played with the idea of doing so for YEARS. While we had some rough patches during his time at the local elementary school, I have to admit for the most part the experience was wonderful…that is, until it wasn’t. After years of advocating for Phoenix’s education (including hiring an educational advocate at one time), fighting for his safety (including a 1:1 aide and behavioral plan for elopement), and working closely with his team to support his social-emotional needs, it was hard to see things still go wrong. While I LOVE a good rant, I really don’t want to speak ill of his team. Let’s just say, by the closing of his third grade year, it was clear to me that all of that advocacy was somehow falling short. It was time to bring him home (at least for now).
Per the advice of a good friend (and fellow autism mama) I met over Instagram, I spent the summer “deschooling” alongside Phoenix. You see, as much as he needed to take a break from public education, I also needed to unravel the expectations I’ve unwittingly built around what education truly means. Hannah and I discussed, ad nauseum, how we loved the rigor of academia and really loved the challenge. If not for the sake of learning, certainly for the achievement aspect. Well, Phoenix isn’t his mama. He loves learning new things and is an absolute sponge…but only on his terms. When it’s a subject he’s interested in. When his body and mind are regulated. Frankly, when he’s in the mood. Well, 7 hours of sitting in a classroom is completely incongruent with his style of learning. So summer looked like a lot of swim lessons, surf events, tinkering on the piano, long walks along the harbor, reading great books, and a couple of road trips.
As for 4th grade: I’d love to say it’s been a seamless transition, but that’s not the whole picture. While it’s been amazing to allow him to wake when he’s rested, start the mornings off slowly, enjoy read alouds, have time to take weekly piano lessons, see him crush his math and reading, and witness a blossoming of more expressive language….there have also been plenty of challenges.
I question myself. A lot. Too much, in fact. I’m always in research mode, looking for better curriculum or books that I can read about becoming a “better” homeschool mom. I find that he gets more agitated with me than he does with his OT, speech therapist, or Sped teacher who provide him with a couple of hours of service each week per his IEP. And I worry if I made the right decision.
But here’s the thing: I know I’m made for this. Even if it ends up that we homeschool for a short season; I know that I’m equipped. I know my son. I know how he ticks. I know how to best support him. And I know that NOBODY will have his best interests in mind the same way that his daddy and I do. So for now, I’m choosing to believe that homeschool was the right move for us.